31 July, 2006

the shape of a mother (tm)

This excellent blog has been linked all over the Internet so I join the ranks of the flabby but proud.

16 July, 2006

elmo's job performance review

Dear Elmo,

There is some concern in the McDonell household that you are not a “team player,” that your behavior is at times narcissistic and demonstrates an ambition that is incompatible with the cooperative and inclusive environment we strive for here.

1. In addition to frequently being featured in the opening sketch of Sesame Street, you have your own self-titled segment that dominates at least one-fourth of the entire one-hour episode.

2. Your sidekicks, Dorothy and Mister(s) Noodle, are all mute. Your attempts to seek input from others are at best “half-assed.” Ask a baby? Please.

3. During the counting segment in which “Elmo has a question fo-o-o-o-or yooou” you frequently display a blatant disregard for the official number of the day as established by The Count or his designee.

4. As “Elmo” is aware, “Elmo” only refers to “Elmo” in the third person – what is that about?

Please be aware that if these issues persist, we will have no choice but to terminate your employment as preferred monster in this household. Thank you for your immediate attention to these matters. Please detach and retain for your records.

06 July, 2006


Oooaaaaaauuuuuugghhhoooh my eyes. I have just spent several hours catching up on quality time with the Internet, doing lady stuff, while baby sleeps and Mr. McDonell is off doing man stuff, which probably involves gambling and/or meat. We returned from vacation last weekend and I am avoiding dealing with the photos. Work was bizzy this week and I thought about my favorite patriots on July 4 (statue type: Thomas Paine; running mates '08: Russ and Tammy). I looked through my old photo albums of that family vacation in third grade to Washington D.C. where I met the Constitution and took that picture with my fingers like little bunny ears behind its head. Good times...oh, Connie, where have you gone? Are you in the witness protection program now? A little late: my new favorite commercial is adidas' jose +10 part 1 and part 2. Soccer is totally hot. Nice music. I visited all my friends in the Internet tonight, but I still owe you all some comments.