fortune cookie

A good way to keep healthy is to eat more Chinese food.

Sure. That's not even a fortune. It's an ad for something I am already eating.

baby, i'm never gonna let you go

Don't leave me, Pluto. Don't go. We had so many good times together. Like that third grade science fair. You were so cute and tiny and brownish-gray. Not like dodgeball Jupiter. And, remember the halloween costume of the solar system I could never pull off, so I went as a shower instead, like in Karate Kid. I guess maybe we could have done it if there were fewer planets, but there aren't. There are NINE. There will always be nine, as far as I'm concerned.

seeya

Hm it's been a whole week again. Stupid summer. I am off to the hometown for a class reunion. Maybe I will return with some hi-larious snapshots.

nice shirt

This t-shirt immediately took me back to the awesomeness that was the Timex Sinclair 1000, hooked up to my JCPenney 13" black and white tv. Remember? You could make that little dude dance.

i can't do a thing with my hair

Check out this beautiful wig by not martha. Mmmmmmm. I want one in every color of the rainbow.

corrections

1. Somehow my comments got turned off. I know that sounds lame, like, "Gee, IT dude, I don't know how all this spyware got on my computer. I just downloaded some awesome screensavers, that's all..." I don't remember turning them off. Maybe I did it in my sleep. But, in any case, they should be back on now.

2. I am embarrassed to admit that the bologna song I didn't recognize should be credited to Weird Al Yankovic. (d'oh!) And I call myself a connoisseur of '80's pop culture. [shaking head]

(Tip of the hat to Tits McGee, for alerting me to these issues, and wag of the finger to me!)

baby, find my keys

Every baby needs this set of four board books.

i blame the patriarchy

Here is another great blog for you to enjoy:

"I Blame The Patriarchy exists to advance the radical feminist views of Twisty Faster, a gentleman farmer and spinster aunt eating dinner in Austin, Texas.

I Blame The Patriarchy is intended for advanced patriarchy-blamers. It is not a feminist primer."

If you don't enjoy blaming the patriarchy for many of the ills of society, then this blog is not for you. If you know me, you know that I am quite prone to blaming the patriarchy for a lot of things, and you should, therefore, not be surprised that I would endorse this website. It's extremely funny. I like that too.

i know song parodies are kind of dorky, but this really made me laugh, and it's so wholesome

This song was posted on a Madison message board, thedailypage forum, by "christopher robin". If I could give more credit where credit is due, I would, but I don't know this person's real identity.

Ooh, my little hungry one, hungry one
Open up a package of my bologna
Ooh, I think the toast is done, the toast is done
Top it with a little of my bologna

Never gonna stop, eat it up
Such a tasty snack I always eat too much, then throw up
But I'll soon be back for my, my, my, yi, yi, woo
M-m-m-my bologna

Spreadin' on the mustard now, show me how
Spread it on a little of this bologna
Hopin' that we don't run out, don't run out
If we do I'm sure that I'll miss bologna

Never gonna stop, eat it up
Such a tasty snack I always eat too much, then throw up
But I'll soon be back for my, my, my, yi, yi, woo!
M-m-m-my bologna
M-m-m-my bologna